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My new toys...
Well, thanks to my buddy donated his toys to me. Appreciate it well.. Now the question is how long will i pro-long the training? Who cares..
Since got no choice of escaping from the recent R.T might as well take it as a good oppunitiy to kill away all the bad habits... Sort of very happy each time went for the R.T as listening to fren stories and because one of my camp mate stories..
Normally when we reach the gate of that hell, we will enjoy our smoke before stepping in for registration as once we are in we got to wait for 3 hrs later to light up another sticks.. I think was the 3rd session while we were chating the topic of quiting smoking most of us agreed very difficult so on and so far.. one of my buddies said while smoking "My uncle crazy one.. he quit smoking just because he heard his wife saying that i don't like you smoking" from that moment on, his uncle did not smoke anymore.
At that point of time i was thinking is it because of love or what kind of power that gave him such big motivation and determination to say quit and on that very 1st min....
This topic made me think for few days and i decided to stop too..
Reason:
Yes without going through any traing i can pass my IPPT but with sweat.. but the last IPPT just only a few stations and i could felt that i aged...
Of cos due to certain stress level i got comment from my cleaning aunty that said Michael what happen to you, you strink... sad case haha
consider each pack of cigrette cost me $10.20. one day a pack and it sum up to $306 a month and that is only the average :P
After a few session of the R.T i can feel the different inside the body. The kind of lightness i dont really know how to explain but i can feel im much more younger lolx...
And of cos the smell.. when smoking time the smell is ok and alright but after that i really dun like tat smell... but because im a smoker i dun care about it.
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Its been 2 weeks.. of cos im not the perfect one but at least i know in this two week i smoked only less then 10 sticks?
At least a good start.. planning this change since how many donkey years back finally..
For my own health worth it...
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Showing posts with label {啊}^{袁}. Show all posts
Showing posts with label {啊}^{袁}. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
A change for good... Thank to R.T..
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Before and now....
Take a good look at MTV of the day... LOLX
YEah its a concert!!! can you imagine the way they present themself compare to maybe beyond??
haha one sky one land...
thing use to be so oldies to now modernised...
generation after generation, time after time, things, environments, humans, animals, the world, the nature, everything keep on changing...
to survive and to live on this world we need to adapt to the changes around in order to move on to our life...
human to human, relation with relation from ancient time well respect elderly is a must till now youngster can bo chap or disrespect the elderly.
from women taking care of house while man doing work outside till now maybe even woman are the one working outside while man doing house chore.
maybe only one thing that wun change is the cycle of our lifeline and we always being controled by the nature... storms, quakes etc...
changes in time is also the meaning of changes in one kind... will beyond ever gonna have the same attire as the members in the MTV? or maybe westlife? or maybe my favourite band MLTR... will if they really do that i think it will be very spectacular :P ...
be it the changes will be in good term or bad term it is up to one kind to
differentiate it...
as far as i know to keep up the foot step of the world we have to change and adapt to it and fight all the way out to win.....
YEah its a concert!!! can you imagine the way they present themself compare to maybe beyond??
haha one sky one land...
thing use to be so oldies to now modernised...
generation after generation, time after time, things, environments, humans, animals, the world, the nature, everything keep on changing...
to survive and to live on this world we need to adapt to the changes around in order to move on to our life...
human to human, relation with relation from ancient time well respect elderly is a must till now youngster can bo chap or disrespect the elderly.
from women taking care of house while man doing work outside till now maybe even woman are the one working outside while man doing house chore.
maybe only one thing that wun change is the cycle of our lifeline and we always being controled by the nature... storms, quakes etc...
changes in time is also the meaning of changes in one kind... will beyond ever gonna have the same attire as the members in the MTV? or maybe westlife? or maybe my favourite band MLTR... will if they really do that i think it will be very spectacular :P ...
be it the changes will be in good term or bad term it is up to one kind to
differentiate it...
as far as i know to keep up the foot step of the world we have to change and adapt to it and fight all the way out to win.....
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Forest of life.....
came a cross this story...
forest of life.....
the life of the forest made up by usual meeting up with wind, leaf, animal and a poor little lost girl..
once they are not connected but bounded as time goes by....
Long ago before the forest got so lively it was just a slient big piece of land with only a few couples of trees standing weakly on it.. the animals, leopord, zebra was roaming freely lazily and getting gd shade while every evening the breeze smoothly sweep out the land gently making the grass and the leaf compossing out a fine tune of music that calm the whole environment..
then came along a little girl who accompany with a group of fren that got know of this beautiful grass land where the fine music was found. they sing along with the melody and compossing out varies fine music and month and year down the road when they got know of their own telent and shifted out of the forest leaving the poor little girl alone in the grass land...
but the little girl did not left the grass land and yet she was trying her best compossing the best music which her pure vocal that attacted all the animals surrounded her and listen to the beautiful melody....
one day as usual which she was singing, she notice that the trees were all wited but there is this only leaf the still clinging on to the motherly tree.
soon enough the wind came and gently blew off the leaf and making the leaf falls right infront of the little girl. she humblely pick up the leaf and look at the animal surrounded her and said..
"we are all left... we will be the best buddies.. i sing to your soul and you guys are my audiance.."
right after the sentence a big wind came and blew up the leaf making the leaf floating away in the air... because of the soft feeling of the little girl, she could bare to let the leaf floating away alone and she chase after the wind and following the leaf.... of cos the animal were running side by side to keep up with the little girl...
days after days the wind finally got gentle leaving the leaf landing high up in the mountain forest....
the little girl got amazed by the atmosphere and realised that from a small goup of animals fren, she brought them to a place that have more fren...
time passing by slowly and the wind blowing gentlely leading the leaf and the little girl to paradize but dunno why the wind stop blowing... leaving the leaf stagnent on the ground and the little girl looking sadly at it..
the little girl held the leaf in arm showing the care and concern to her and when the little girl tot that the leaf need to have sunlight in order to survive, she climb up to the very top of a tress helding it high up above her head... without noticing her action, she realise that the leaf actually brought her out of the darkness where she was way down below the ground that the sunlight was shaded off by the tall nasty trees... she got her point of view.. a beautiful scenary where she didnt see before..
"leaf, i thank you for showing me the light and letting me know that im not alone..."
PPPHHHHEEEWWWWWW>...... the wind came blew off the leaf... this time round the wind came in different direction making the leaf lost the direction.. luckly the girl with out fail trying her best to find the leaf but the nasty wind keep coming leaving the leaf got stuck in a coner..
the little girl tried her best to reach to the leaf but failed...
the leaf got tired of the lost.. sitting there at the corner and the little girl waiting there.. both waiting for the gentle wind to come back.. but it seem like a decade before the gentle wind came...
the leaf see the light again and the girl got so rejoice finally their wait was not wasted.. but then to a extent that the wind got the direction wrong again leaving disappointment to the crowd....
the sense of disappointment refill the atmosphere making the forest goes slient without the beautiful melody...
try searching some opem for the characters and here it is...
Wind, why is it there
Wind, how is it there
Wind, when did it get there
wind, where does it come from
wind, how is it made
so many qustions
Wind is deadly
Wind is nice
Wind can hurt
Wind can kill
Wind can love
Wind can care
Wind is the source of energy.
but in this story i guess the wind hurt them dealy rather then the source of energy...
If yoou were a leaf on a majestic tall tree,
And you had the choice, of which you could be,
I’d hope you to be a maple to turn orange yellow gold
When the cool autumn winds turned warm nights cold.
you could to be high as high could be,
So all of the world would be open to you.
you sway with the wind, spring, summer and fall
Up in the maple so big and so tall.
Then one moonlit night in October’s cold air,
A beautiful little gilr would come paint you with care.
All leaves would turn color, as God would have done
To give the world beauty for short days to come.
Then if you could choose on which day you would fall
little girl will pick late October when winds came to call.
little girl choose Sunday morning so bright and sunny,
As sun through the leaves flowed golden as honey.
little girl will pick the sweet moment, when the wind was just right
To let go of your limb and float nice and light
Drifting ever so calmly from the place of your birth,
Then gently lie down to where you belong....
I am the girl who u call when everything goes wrong
I am the girl who u need advice
I am the girl who u tell everything to
I am the girl who’s heart is breaking
I am the girl who had all that I wanted at one time
I am the girl who let they go
I am the girl who let they go again
I am the girl who has dreams that seem impossible
I am the girl who will seek my dreams
I am the girl who cheers for the losers
I am the girl who believes anything is possible
I am the girl who has confidence in your decisions
I am the girl who will be saying go for it
I am the girl who wants to give up but wont
I am the girl who is your best friend
I am the girl who will leave someday
I am the girl who will say goodbye with tears in my eyes
I am the girl who u will call when everything has went wrong
When you look at wild animals
they are breathtaking,
so pure and natural.
If the animal looks you in the eyes
you can feel connected.
If the animal walks up to you
takes food from your hand,
you can feel trust.
When the animal keeps returning
for food,
you can feel needed.
By mistake
you take the animal home,
you can feel complete.
Time goes on
you look into the animals eyes,
you can feel sadness.
Knowing that
you have to return the animal to the wild,
you can feel loss.
When you let the animal go,
it runs!
forest of life.....
the life of the forest made up by usual meeting up with wind, leaf, animal and a poor little lost girl..
once they are not connected but bounded as time goes by....
Long ago before the forest got so lively it was just a slient big piece of land with only a few couples of trees standing weakly on it.. the animals, leopord, zebra was roaming freely lazily and getting gd shade while every evening the breeze smoothly sweep out the land gently making the grass and the leaf compossing out a fine tune of music that calm the whole environment..
then came along a little girl who accompany with a group of fren that got know of this beautiful grass land where the fine music was found. they sing along with the melody and compossing out varies fine music and month and year down the road when they got know of their own telent and shifted out of the forest leaving the poor little girl alone in the grass land...
but the little girl did not left the grass land and yet she was trying her best compossing the best music which her pure vocal that attacted all the animals surrounded her and listen to the beautiful melody....
one day as usual which she was singing, she notice that the trees were all wited but there is this only leaf the still clinging on to the motherly tree.
soon enough the wind came and gently blew off the leaf and making the leaf falls right infront of the little girl. she humblely pick up the leaf and look at the animal surrounded her and said..
"we are all left... we will be the best buddies.. i sing to your soul and you guys are my audiance.."
right after the sentence a big wind came and blew up the leaf making the leaf floating away in the air... because of the soft feeling of the little girl, she could bare to let the leaf floating away alone and she chase after the wind and following the leaf.... of cos the animal were running side by side to keep up with the little girl...
days after days the wind finally got gentle leaving the leaf landing high up in the mountain forest....
the little girl got amazed by the atmosphere and realised that from a small goup of animals fren, she brought them to a place that have more fren...
time passing by slowly and the wind blowing gentlely leading the leaf and the little girl to paradize but dunno why the wind stop blowing... leaving the leaf stagnent on the ground and the little girl looking sadly at it..
the little girl held the leaf in arm showing the care and concern to her and when the little girl tot that the leaf need to have sunlight in order to survive, she climb up to the very top of a tress helding it high up above her head... without noticing her action, she realise that the leaf actually brought her out of the darkness where she was way down below the ground that the sunlight was shaded off by the tall nasty trees... she got her point of view.. a beautiful scenary where she didnt see before..
"leaf, i thank you for showing me the light and letting me know that im not alone..."
PPPHHHHEEEWWWWWW>...... the wind came blew off the leaf... this time round the wind came in different direction making the leaf lost the direction.. luckly the girl with out fail trying her best to find the leaf but the nasty wind keep coming leaving the leaf got stuck in a coner..
the little girl tried her best to reach to the leaf but failed...
the leaf got tired of the lost.. sitting there at the corner and the little girl waiting there.. both waiting for the gentle wind to come back.. but it seem like a decade before the gentle wind came...
the leaf see the light again and the girl got so rejoice finally their wait was not wasted.. but then to a extent that the wind got the direction wrong again leaving disappointment to the crowd....
the sense of disappointment refill the atmosphere making the forest goes slient without the beautiful melody...
try searching some opem for the characters and here it is...
Wind, why is it there
Wind, how is it there
Wind, when did it get there
wind, where does it come from
wind, how is it made
so many qustions
Wind is deadly
Wind is nice
Wind can hurt
Wind can kill
Wind can love
Wind can care
Wind is the source of energy.
but in this story i guess the wind hurt them dealy rather then the source of energy...
If yoou were a leaf on a majestic tall tree,
And you had the choice, of which you could be,
I’d hope you to be a maple to turn orange yellow gold
When the cool autumn winds turned warm nights cold.
you could to be high as high could be,
So all of the world would be open to you.
you sway with the wind, spring, summer and fall
Up in the maple so big and so tall.
Then one moonlit night in October’s cold air,
A beautiful little gilr would come paint you with care.
All leaves would turn color, as God would have done
To give the world beauty for short days to come.
Then if you could choose on which day you would fall
little girl will pick late October when winds came to call.
little girl choose Sunday morning so bright and sunny,
As sun through the leaves flowed golden as honey.
little girl will pick the sweet moment, when the wind was just right
To let go of your limb and float nice and light
Drifting ever so calmly from the place of your birth,
Then gently lie down to where you belong....
I am the girl who u call when everything goes wrong
I am the girl who u need advice
I am the girl who u tell everything to
I am the girl who’s heart is breaking
I am the girl who had all that I wanted at one time
I am the girl who let they go
I am the girl who let they go again
I am the girl who has dreams that seem impossible
I am the girl who will seek my dreams
I am the girl who cheers for the losers
I am the girl who believes anything is possible
I am the girl who has confidence in your decisions
I am the girl who will be saying go for it
I am the girl who wants to give up but wont
I am the girl who is your best friend
I am the girl who will leave someday
I am the girl who will say goodbye with tears in my eyes
I am the girl who u will call when everything has went wrong
When you look at wild animals
they are breathtaking,
so pure and natural.
If the animal looks you in the eyes
you can feel connected.
If the animal walks up to you
takes food from your hand,
you can feel trust.
When the animal keeps returning
for food,
you can feel needed.
By mistake
you take the animal home,
you can feel complete.
Time goes on
you look into the animals eyes,
you can feel sadness.
Knowing that
you have to return the animal to the wild,
you can feel loss.
When you let the animal go,
it runs!
Planning Always lose to changes.....
WHen i thinks its time to get back the feeling everything turn out to be not as expected...
being a medium, my fate is to help out other, giving advise and helping out those that needed and trying to save some lost soul out there... but then who will be the one who is coming to save me out of all the things that i gets stuck?
will god really do? as a medium if i cant save myself how can i save pple? for once i try to think in a better way therefore i when into deep forest and hide myself up to get the knowledge of how to be a wise man...
I tot i successful gotten 60% of the wisdom and finally 40% will be when i get out of this lonely forest and feel the world and touch the world. so i tot was the time i make my comeback...
seems like it all wrong.. i left my frens and buddies with all the disappointment when i go so out of control... that makes me a jerk once again with no different from last time... to being a pilot better then a jerk or even both are my strong point....
really got no courage to pick up my phone and apologyise to them...
things will nv go my ways.. in the end i ended up to be the most no use pple.
bad news that i cant break off with my current business partner which company was not doing well and i suggested a break up with my parnter and thing didnot really work out well...
since that there is an outing i just wanted to try to enjoy myself out with my buddies and not to think about that issues 1st.. in the end i got it back...
life reallly sometime torturing in a way that sometime so much envy that how come pple had that kind of smooth and happy life and yet i got stuck in no where even if im i wan to do better???
when i think i dont do somehow it become im a man without words...
but when i think and i done situation goes hit me double where i offended more pple surrouding me!!
changed changed changed i used to tell my self i did changed but after since i realise im still at the starting point...
im always the lemon biskuit since young whereby i always caught in the middle of my family like im the satalite... now even worst that i become the oreo biskuit that kena dip into the glass of milk and the satalite got shock with spark flying out every where before it goes dead..
No doubt now the whoole satalite was down.. but i wun give up so easily.. i will find ways to make it functioning again... it jus the matter of time... if one day cant get it done then one month time to fix it if one month time cant fix it i will take a year.. im not losing out anymore at this point of time.... because i have being sending out the wrong frequency and signal all this time...
and i finally realise my mistake....
believe it or not i will do it...
things that i messed up in term of life, work and many other... i will recollect it back bit by bit.....
being a medium, my fate is to help out other, giving advise and helping out those that needed and trying to save some lost soul out there... but then who will be the one who is coming to save me out of all the things that i gets stuck?
will god really do? as a medium if i cant save myself how can i save pple? for once i try to think in a better way therefore i when into deep forest and hide myself up to get the knowledge of how to be a wise man...
I tot i successful gotten 60% of the wisdom and finally 40% will be when i get out of this lonely forest and feel the world and touch the world. so i tot was the time i make my comeback...
seems like it all wrong.. i left my frens and buddies with all the disappointment when i go so out of control... that makes me a jerk once again with no different from last time... to being a pilot better then a jerk or even both are my strong point....
really got no courage to pick up my phone and apologyise to them...
things will nv go my ways.. in the end i ended up to be the most no use pple.
bad news that i cant break off with my current business partner which company was not doing well and i suggested a break up with my parnter and thing didnot really work out well...
since that there is an outing i just wanted to try to enjoy myself out with my buddies and not to think about that issues 1st.. in the end i got it back...
life reallly sometime torturing in a way that sometime so much envy that how come pple had that kind of smooth and happy life and yet i got stuck in no where even if im i wan to do better???
when i think i dont do somehow it become im a man without words...
but when i think and i done situation goes hit me double where i offended more pple surrouding me!!
changed changed changed i used to tell my self i did changed but after since i realise im still at the starting point...
im always the lemon biskuit since young whereby i always caught in the middle of my family like im the satalite... now even worst that i become the oreo biskuit that kena dip into the glass of milk and the satalite got shock with spark flying out every where before it goes dead..
No doubt now the whoole satalite was down.. but i wun give up so easily.. i will find ways to make it functioning again... it jus the matter of time... if one day cant get it done then one month time to fix it if one month time cant fix it i will take a year.. im not losing out anymore at this point of time.... because i have being sending out the wrong frequency and signal all this time...
and i finally realise my mistake....
believe it or not i will do it...
things that i messed up in term of life, work and many other... i will recollect it back bit by bit.....
Monday, January 16, 2012
I dont want to be a Billionaire i just want be normal :P
Enough of all the sorrow and past memories :P
Looking forward for the coming Chinese New Year as this coming Year of Dragon was a very special dragon year.. A very auspicious Year for every one.. No matter how sway were you in the past or like a salted fish turn here n there still cannot turn to a right side...
This is the year:P
no more thinking of bad situation or unhappiness jus keep a clear and positive mind set everything will be good to go :P
Working very hard for the past year and no doubt wasnt a very good harvesting but at least i can see the result and im contented.Going to save a lot more this coming year to have a more propest year and to give my family my worker a more better life :P
each and every year when comes to chinese new year definately there is TOTO haha and the winning prize also very attracting $_$! no lies no bluff.. i han tumb alot jus hoping to get the luck but each and every year was a disappointing one :P Chinese there is this saying
" In our life, it is already written in our book of life, how much we earn and how much we spent its fixed"
During my down period of time im totally agreed with it. Seriously i dont know how to change or reformat the content that had being already written on it. a week of peaceful and calm meditation knocks me out to sense..
now my saying " how much we earn is depends on how hard working we are and how much we spend we need to spend wisely"
Ahh..... this sounds more sense to me rather than sticking to the old fashion ways :P
this coming year im going to wait for the help of 4D or TOTO but i need to concentrade more into my career and personalty.. only this i can save myself out from the crisis :P
of cos 4D n ToTo if there is luck i will accept it also loh but concept had change.. i dont need to stike 10k 20k or even 1.5 million... a little bit a little bit that can cheer up and help abit in daily life im happy :P
no more " wah if i kena 4d toto i can do this i can do that.." no more..
totally get it out from my mind....
to all pple out there :P As i said this special dragon year dont comes in a million of year...
it a good year for every one to start of..
want to do business can try..
those who fail before and this year is a good year to restart..
in other words for those who have dream to fullfill, make this coming dragon year a good year to start off...
all the best and Good luck!!!
Looking forward for the coming Chinese New Year as this coming Year of Dragon was a very special dragon year.. A very auspicious Year for every one.. No matter how sway were you in the past or like a salted fish turn here n there still cannot turn to a right side...
This is the year:P
no more thinking of bad situation or unhappiness jus keep a clear and positive mind set everything will be good to go :P
Working very hard for the past year and no doubt wasnt a very good harvesting but at least i can see the result and im contented.Going to save a lot more this coming year to have a more propest year and to give my family my worker a more better life :P
each and every year when comes to chinese new year definately there is TOTO haha and the winning prize also very attracting $_$! no lies no bluff.. i han tumb alot jus hoping to get the luck but each and every year was a disappointing one :P Chinese there is this saying
" In our life, it is already written in our book of life, how much we earn and how much we spent its fixed"
During my down period of time im totally agreed with it. Seriously i dont know how to change or reformat the content that had being already written on it. a week of peaceful and calm meditation knocks me out to sense..
now my saying " how much we earn is depends on how hard working we are and how much we spend we need to spend wisely"
Ahh..... this sounds more sense to me rather than sticking to the old fashion ways :P
this coming year im going to wait for the help of 4D or TOTO but i need to concentrade more into my career and personalty.. only this i can save myself out from the crisis :P
of cos 4D n ToTo if there is luck i will accept it also loh but concept had change.. i dont need to stike 10k 20k or even 1.5 million... a little bit a little bit that can cheer up and help abit in daily life im happy :P
no more " wah if i kena 4d toto i can do this i can do that.." no more..
totally get it out from my mind....
to all pple out there :P As i said this special dragon year dont comes in a million of year...
it a good year for every one to start of..
want to do business can try..
those who fail before and this year is a good year to restart..
in other words for those who have dream to fullfill, make this coming dragon year a good year to start off...
all the best and Good luck!!!
Friday, January 13, 2012
Reflecting..... Ohmmmm....
Starting from Dec 2011 things went up and down high and low...
Seems like unsettled..
Now today, a couples of days passed 2012 still busy as usual and things still unsettled..
Suddenly many thought rush up to my brian. but having a second thought inst this kind of thinking shld comes before the New year so that i can set my new resolution in 2012?
then i realise that im Traditional chinese guy lolx... my new year resolution shld set in Chinese New Year not the Ang Mo one :P
Thinking back at those days when i was still active and hyper.. What is work? i just need to enjoy and that it..
Enjoying with friends and buddies nv seems tired.. at that point of time im a dragon but next day reporting to work im a worm... lolx...
Im just as care free as a wild horse.. a place where new and green grass i will sprint myself there... nv look back and nv think of all the consequences.. "hum tum boleh"
always doing things without using brain at first and when really bang hard on the wall then stop at that point of time.. really STOP for sometime...
Always finding excuses in doing many thing regardless of right or wrong...
I believe that just me...
Nv a chance that i will be alone to face all the ups and downs as there are always pple around me like friends and buddies even family memeber.. Should i say im living very fortunately??? or should i say im over pampered by my friends and family member?? no mater what the reason is im really blessed to have them around me..
2011 year was a tuff year for me as i decided to pack my bag and set sail alone.. a person being pampered before, i brought along many stuff to prepared the journey ahead for me.. packed a year stuff but less then half a year i finished everything along my journey.. that when i really know that i always takes things for granted..
NOw after all the hard struggling, working very hard towards future. suddenly tend to think day work night work giveing all my time to family members.. all i left was a empty cartridge.. so worn out and tired... not even a time for me to recharge...
is there any point?
sometime i guess its not whether is there any point.. it is when you see the smile on your family face its a reward and encouragement for me to work even more harder..
i cant see the future that lies infront of me but as long as the spirit of the "xiao qiang" is there one more year of sailing in the big unpredictable ocean out there, i will be home real soon..
once i told someone before each and every song really related to our heart feeling, things or pple... they agreed... therefore each and every post i have will link to a song that really will say out the heart...
a song is better then reading my boring long wonded story lolx...
Seems like unsettled..
Now today, a couples of days passed 2012 still busy as usual and things still unsettled..
Suddenly many thought rush up to my brian. but having a second thought inst this kind of thinking shld comes before the New year so that i can set my new resolution in 2012?
then i realise that im Traditional chinese guy lolx... my new year resolution shld set in Chinese New Year not the Ang Mo one :P
Thinking back at those days when i was still active and hyper.. What is work? i just need to enjoy and that it..
Enjoying with friends and buddies nv seems tired.. at that point of time im a dragon but next day reporting to work im a worm... lolx...
Im just as care free as a wild horse.. a place where new and green grass i will sprint myself there... nv look back and nv think of all the consequences.. "hum tum boleh"
always doing things without using brain at first and when really bang hard on the wall then stop at that point of time.. really STOP for sometime...
Always finding excuses in doing many thing regardless of right or wrong...
I believe that just me...
Nv a chance that i will be alone to face all the ups and downs as there are always pple around me like friends and buddies even family memeber.. Should i say im living very fortunately??? or should i say im over pampered by my friends and family member?? no mater what the reason is im really blessed to have them around me..
2011 year was a tuff year for me as i decided to pack my bag and set sail alone.. a person being pampered before, i brought along many stuff to prepared the journey ahead for me.. packed a year stuff but less then half a year i finished everything along my journey.. that when i really know that i always takes things for granted..
NOw after all the hard struggling, working very hard towards future. suddenly tend to think day work night work giveing all my time to family members.. all i left was a empty cartridge.. so worn out and tired... not even a time for me to recharge...
is there any point?
sometime i guess its not whether is there any point.. it is when you see the smile on your family face its a reward and encouragement for me to work even more harder..
i cant see the future that lies infront of me but as long as the spirit of the "xiao qiang" is there one more year of sailing in the big unpredictable ocean out there, i will be home real soon..
once i told someone before each and every song really related to our heart feeling, things or pple... they agreed... therefore each and every post i have will link to a song that really will say out the heart...
a song is better then reading my boring long wonded story lolx...
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Puddle of Mud --- Blurry
It all in a mess deep down as dunno why the outcome turns out to be in this way.
The whole situation shouldnt be in such a way but i guess i do have to be in the part of messing up the thing...
To be frank, lucky that my work also all in a mess that got me no time to stry on certain issues.
definately will wan to know how everything and whats going on but just maybe still in a mess therefore choosing to run aways with that feeling...
Too much work to be settle and to be done.. Most of it will be the restructuring of the worker as well as the the base of my dairy... planning to get an electronic dairy sooner or later to get all my work sort it out and of cos it is another source of brain as least for me lah :P
Don't know whats wrong with the *** bank.. didnt really wanna followed up with my case.. call the respective office but keep on telling me that will call me back.. one day after another CNY drawing new... I needed the help from bank now yet they put me into cold room... when you dont need any they will jus pop out from no where and keep telling you that they can help...
A big sum to be cover looking forward to their reply and hope that will be a pleasant result... this amount will straighten all my stuff.. Oh pls heaven no need to open your eye to look at it maybe jus peep will do haha :P
Looked into the mirror when i got back from work just now.. Wow... no comment... well 2 to 3 month to go... just need to save up a bit more and will be good...
for now whats lies infront of me will be just like that band name and the vision will be the song title...
Puddle of mud a path that is tuff and vision still not clear enough...
you bloody bank better rings me up tomorrow if not im going to.... :P
start my resolution abit late but late better then nv start loh...
trying to kick the habit of holding Hunki day one...
-difficult to control especially when gets work up but worker and bank issues today.. but still trying to use my determination and it went well..
today six sticks..
and now left i think 2 stick and that it.. not going to buy anymore...
ohmmm.......... meditate... lolX
The whole situation shouldnt be in such a way but i guess i do have to be in the part of messing up the thing...
To be frank, lucky that my work also all in a mess that got me no time to stry on certain issues.
definately will wan to know how everything and whats going on but just maybe still in a mess therefore choosing to run aways with that feeling...
Too much work to be settle and to be done.. Most of it will be the restructuring of the worker as well as the the base of my dairy... planning to get an electronic dairy sooner or later to get all my work sort it out and of cos it is another source of brain as least for me lah :P
Don't know whats wrong with the *** bank.. didnt really wanna followed up with my case.. call the respective office but keep on telling me that will call me back.. one day after another CNY drawing new... I needed the help from bank now yet they put me into cold room... when you dont need any they will jus pop out from no where and keep telling you that they can help...
A big sum to be cover looking forward to their reply and hope that will be a pleasant result... this amount will straighten all my stuff.. Oh pls heaven no need to open your eye to look at it maybe jus peep will do haha :P
Looked into the mirror when i got back from work just now.. Wow... no comment... well 2 to 3 month to go... just need to save up a bit more and will be good...
for now whats lies infront of me will be just like that band name and the vision will be the song title...
Puddle of mud a path that is tuff and vision still not clear enough...
you bloody bank better rings me up tomorrow if not im going to.... :P
start my resolution abit late but late better then nv start loh...
trying to kick the habit of holding Hunki day one...
-difficult to control especially when gets work up but worker and bank issues today.. but still trying to use my determination and it went well..
today six sticks..
and now left i think 2 stick and that it.. not going to buy anymore...
ohmmm.......... meditate... lolX
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Well... Bring It On......
Good start or not a good start ???
2012 :P
Well.. good and bad news...
yesterday brought my mum to chemo and have a small chat session with the in-charge..
"your mum health was remarkable"
this quote... all i needed was this quote..
it actually lighten my heart although we knew that my mum situation was that bad...
Consider good start?? Yeah of cos...
But on the other hand, my dad health turns to red light...
no matter wat, i think we neglect our daddy as form the last time i heard that his intestine got some problem and dun really know wat is it... till yesterday.. he came back from hospital and says that doc recommended him to do operation....
When he go into the detail of what the doc says:
Why didnt anyone comes along with you??
he answered what wrong??
your intestine needs an operation and it may causes life danger and we need to seek your family approval...
and my dad answer..
well then pls arrange after chinese new year then...
when i heard that.. i was totally sank into the deep ocean...
for this while i had been worrying other then my mum issue and my own issue but i neglected my dadyy health...
worst thing his next appointment was on the 14 of feb.....
well...
there is so many co-incident in my life that made me had to deal with situation that i really get lost of hand on it..
bad start?
....
to me works well nv end but then i guess for the past few holiday or my neglect on work too causes too much problem as well...
nv do i will be thinking of the nagetive as the worst had already fallen on me so just get my mind straignthen up and get all the thing done up before chinese new year...
huat ah!!!!!
2012 :P
Well.. good and bad news...
yesterday brought my mum to chemo and have a small chat session with the in-charge..
"your mum health was remarkable"
this quote... all i needed was this quote..
it actually lighten my heart although we knew that my mum situation was that bad...
Consider good start?? Yeah of cos...
But on the other hand, my dad health turns to red light...
no matter wat, i think we neglect our daddy as form the last time i heard that his intestine got some problem and dun really know wat is it... till yesterday.. he came back from hospital and says that doc recommended him to do operation....
When he go into the detail of what the doc says:
Why didnt anyone comes along with you??
he answered what wrong??
your intestine needs an operation and it may causes life danger and we need to seek your family approval...
and my dad answer..
well then pls arrange after chinese new year then...
when i heard that.. i was totally sank into the deep ocean...
for this while i had been worrying other then my mum issue and my own issue but i neglected my dadyy health...
worst thing his next appointment was on the 14 of feb.....
well...
there is so many co-incident in my life that made me had to deal with situation that i really get lost of hand on it..
bad start?
....
to me works well nv end but then i guess for the past few holiday or my neglect on work too causes too much problem as well...
nv do i will be thinking of the nagetive as the worst had already fallen on me so just get my mind straignthen up and get all the thing done up before chinese new year...
huat ah!!!!!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Give and take? or take two hands to clap....
Happy New year to all frends and family member... Its officially 2012...
May all study personal have gd progress in this year
May all working adults get their promotion this year
and May all pple have a happy, healthy and wealthy life this year.
This year also another diff counting party lolx... Its also my boss day...
Past few years, spent counting down for each and every new year were out there drinking with fren and fellow buddies.. this year a calm and peaceful count down...
Thinking back each and every year.. This year was the least i recieved the greeting msg from my fren... Sad... and this also means that getting lesser friends each year...
hmmm...
Give and take...
give-and-take
n
1. mutual concessions, shared benefits, and cooperation
2. a smoothly flowing exchange of ideas and talk
vb give and take (intr)
to make mutual concessions
give-and-take
noun compromise, agreement, concession, co-operation, flexibility, reciprocity a happy relationship where there's a lot of give-and-take
This is the defination from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/give-and-take
From dictionary.. am i not clear or not understand the meaning or other mis-interpret in their own ways?
Recenlty lots of small issues or disscussion which leads me to a cross junction. IM lost in the world of finding my road once again...
No matter how well i explained or to set an example, it actually come back hitting me that my mind got corrupted or hitting me back that i nv want to face the fact that there is other ways of doing things..
The problem is that i know there are many alternative choice and ways of doing things that really i can accept the way of other pple doing thing and i can face the fact that there are tons of ways out there to sort things out. I do accept but then on the other hand have you got the idea of your own problem? the biggest problem is that you know that you dont have problem lolx.. did i put it in the right way??
The story of a screw driver and a screw story begins...
when a + screw meets a + head screw driver wow.. very fast things can be unscrew..
when a - screw meets a - head screw driver, again wow.. things work out the same way..
but..
when a + screw meets a - head screw driver things still can sort it out maybe not that smooth but still the screw can be remove over a longer periods of time.
and..
When a - screw meets a + head screw driver, no matter how hard you try, it will nv unscrew worst still the screw will get spoiled.
moral of the story?
of cos if we gets the right tools in sorting out our life situation, we will have out road clear and smooth no matter wat happens..
but if we got the wrong tools in our life, we got a harder and tougher road to move on or maybe even worst we cant gets our things solved.
In life we give and take.. the screw always the one who giving in the sign and the screw driver always taking the given thread to unscrew the things.
but if it is a + screw and a - screw driver, they both have to give in as much as possible and take as least as possible because it really take two hand to clap so that the screw can be unscrewed...
this lesson applies to all relationship, friendship, family matters....
i believe this explain out all i wanted to voice out..
nv didnt i wan to try or not but realise the core of the problem lies here how can i unsolve this mystery??
Well that maybe takes my life time or nv it will be solved and let it become mystery.
life...
lolx..
really no comment..
May all study personal have gd progress in this year
May all working adults get their promotion this year
and May all pple have a happy, healthy and wealthy life this year.
This year also another diff counting party lolx... Its also my boss day...
Past few years, spent counting down for each and every new year were out there drinking with fren and fellow buddies.. this year a calm and peaceful count down...
Thinking back each and every year.. This year was the least i recieved the greeting msg from my fren... Sad... and this also means that getting lesser friends each year...
hmmm...
Give and take...
give-and-take
n
1. mutual concessions, shared benefits, and cooperation
2. a smoothly flowing exchange of ideas and talk
vb give and take (intr)
to make mutual concessions
give-and-take
noun compromise, agreement, concession, co-operation, flexibility, reciprocity a happy relationship where there's a lot of give-and-take
This is the defination from http://www.thefreedictionary.com/give-and-take
From dictionary.. am i not clear or not understand the meaning or other mis-interpret in their own ways?
Recenlty lots of small issues or disscussion which leads me to a cross junction. IM lost in the world of finding my road once again...
No matter how well i explained or to set an example, it actually come back hitting me that my mind got corrupted or hitting me back that i nv want to face the fact that there is other ways of doing things..
The problem is that i know there are many alternative choice and ways of doing things that really i can accept the way of other pple doing thing and i can face the fact that there are tons of ways out there to sort things out. I do accept but then on the other hand have you got the idea of your own problem? the biggest problem is that you know that you dont have problem lolx.. did i put it in the right way??
The story of a screw driver and a screw story begins...
when a + screw meets a + head screw driver wow.. very fast things can be unscrew..
when a - screw meets a - head screw driver, again wow.. things work out the same way..
but..
when a + screw meets a - head screw driver things still can sort it out maybe not that smooth but still the screw can be remove over a longer periods of time.
and..
When a - screw meets a + head screw driver, no matter how hard you try, it will nv unscrew worst still the screw will get spoiled.
moral of the story?
of cos if we gets the right tools in sorting out our life situation, we will have out road clear and smooth no matter wat happens..
but if we got the wrong tools in our life, we got a harder and tougher road to move on or maybe even worst we cant gets our things solved.
In life we give and take.. the screw always the one who giving in the sign and the screw driver always taking the given thread to unscrew the things.
but if it is a + screw and a - screw driver, they both have to give in as much as possible and take as least as possible because it really take two hand to clap so that the screw can be unscrewed...
this lesson applies to all relationship, friendship, family matters....
i believe this explain out all i wanted to voice out..
nv didnt i wan to try or not but realise the core of the problem lies here how can i unsolve this mystery??
Well that maybe takes my life time or nv it will be solved and let it become mystery.
life...
lolx..
really no comment..
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
A long lost friend...
5 to 6 years ago...
to be exact he is my mentor..
I was very green in this social, he pick me up soon after my national service days..
during that time i was a young and green interior designer who dont know about anything in this social..
He brought me out to see the world and teach me along my career path...
From mentor we became friends, from friend we became "brother" from brother became business partner...
along the way we went thru things together.. we fought together, we enjoy together, we shared our ups and down together and now were to think back it was so much fun...
during Interior time, we were colleague and we work very hard to help the company.. we waork hard of cos we play hard.. as and when if we were stress up with work, we went out for a short drink.
from a short drink till we become party animals.. lolx.. he taught me how to be better in working life and i taught him how to become a gd drinker...
and then our story started from there on..
we started to drink so much and started to know more n more people those days in the pub.. and that when daily rountine happens.. 6 in the evening waiting for phone call.. haha even if the phone nv rings we will ring up pple else.. i am the devils!!!
hopping from pub to pub and finally we settled down at a pub somewhere near our resident place...
and many thing start goes wrong from there...
the pub became our so call director meeting point.. we use to discuss our company stuff over then and after that party like animal..
some how i also felt abit guilty for what i had made him change...
he got hook on to fling and actually left his own family.. He has his own reason and of cos it is his family matter therefore i cant touch on too much...
on that day onwards.. we started to drift apart...
many ugly side had surfaced..
thats the reason why from business partner, we bacame stranger back again...
but of cos as and when we do call up each other for help as we both in the same line..
I dont blame him for wat he had done as partially i do have my wrong doing too but as least now we are still frens..
During the days when we are stranger, i heard alot of his down fall.. once a while if we are near by we will meet up for coffee but that was i think once in a blue moon only haha.. during the meet up, i can feel the stress and pressure that he is having cos its written on his face..
Today.....
We meet up for coffee..
i can see the change in him.. Now he is leading a peaceful life as he knows when to work and when to rest.. he pick up course to upgrade himself during free time and also started reading as his hobby..
the last time i heard him converted to a christian was this year around march...
the stress and pressure he use to have on his face was totally gone.. even the way he spoke to me also different.. last time i heard him telling me that he had changed but i cant feel any.. but he didnt tell me anything i can feel it...
we had a short chat updating both ourself on our life and we are both happy that we are changing for the better...
he doing quite well now and im happy for him that he is on the path to success.. i believe he can as he is a experianced guy and nv before i doubt his ability in work.. somehow he was jus lost during those days back...
never do i wants to set my resolution for coming 2012.. but after meeting him,
My RESOLUTION IS...
-Work hard more to strive for better and make my company grow up a little bit more..
-Recover from all kind of finance bad debt
-improve my living lifestyle
-move on with my life
-"QUIT SOMKING" a bit hard maybe...
HAhaha
Few more days 2012!!!
STRIVE HARD!!!!
no more PLAY HARD!!!!
to be exact he is my mentor..
I was very green in this social, he pick me up soon after my national service days..
during that time i was a young and green interior designer who dont know about anything in this social..
He brought me out to see the world and teach me along my career path...
From mentor we became friends, from friend we became "brother" from brother became business partner...
along the way we went thru things together.. we fought together, we enjoy together, we shared our ups and down together and now were to think back it was so much fun...
during Interior time, we were colleague and we work very hard to help the company.. we waork hard of cos we play hard.. as and when if we were stress up with work, we went out for a short drink.
from a short drink till we become party animals.. lolx.. he taught me how to be better in working life and i taught him how to become a gd drinker...
and then our story started from there on..
we started to drink so much and started to know more n more people those days in the pub.. and that when daily rountine happens.. 6 in the evening waiting for phone call.. haha even if the phone nv rings we will ring up pple else.. i am the devils!!!
hopping from pub to pub and finally we settled down at a pub somewhere near our resident place...
and many thing start goes wrong from there...
the pub became our so call director meeting point.. we use to discuss our company stuff over then and after that party like animal..
some how i also felt abit guilty for what i had made him change...
he got hook on to fling and actually left his own family.. He has his own reason and of cos it is his family matter therefore i cant touch on too much...
on that day onwards.. we started to drift apart...
many ugly side had surfaced..
thats the reason why from business partner, we bacame stranger back again...
but of cos as and when we do call up each other for help as we both in the same line..
I dont blame him for wat he had done as partially i do have my wrong doing too but as least now we are still frens..
During the days when we are stranger, i heard alot of his down fall.. once a while if we are near by we will meet up for coffee but that was i think once in a blue moon only haha.. during the meet up, i can feel the stress and pressure that he is having cos its written on his face..
Today.....
We meet up for coffee..
i can see the change in him.. Now he is leading a peaceful life as he knows when to work and when to rest.. he pick up course to upgrade himself during free time and also started reading as his hobby..
the last time i heard him converted to a christian was this year around march...
the stress and pressure he use to have on his face was totally gone.. even the way he spoke to me also different.. last time i heard him telling me that he had changed but i cant feel any.. but he didnt tell me anything i can feel it...
we had a short chat updating both ourself on our life and we are both happy that we are changing for the better...
he doing quite well now and im happy for him that he is on the path to success.. i believe he can as he is a experianced guy and nv before i doubt his ability in work.. somehow he was jus lost during those days back...
never do i wants to set my resolution for coming 2012.. but after meeting him,
My RESOLUTION IS...
-Work hard more to strive for better and make my company grow up a little bit more..
-Recover from all kind of finance bad debt
-improve my living lifestyle
-move on with my life
-"QUIT SOMKING" a bit hard maybe...
HAhaha
Few more days 2012!!!
STRIVE HARD!!!!
no more PLAY HARD!!!!
Monday, December 26, 2011
A Xmas that change my mind....
Something different in this Xmas :P
On the Xmas Eve, tot i could be a smooth and slience night for me to keep my calmness and peacefulness but thing turn out to be bit of noisey...
staying at home but noisey mind...
ON the very Xmas day itself was a very different experiance xmas day..
Wedding day falls on Xmas :P
ONe of my secondary school buddy got married on that day.. was a very blessing and xtra white wedding lunch.. Turely wishing this newly wed with unlimited happiness down their marriage life..
on the other hand, got so envy over their wedding. seeing all the preparation video and specially made video for the newly wed.. the family member shot a surprise video for them.. seeing all this touching scene makes me more n more envy..
Envy that they had all the best blessing and wish from family and friends that what wedding is all about..
No doubt marriage is thing that between the couple itself but without any bless from frens and family and with out sharing the joy of your marriage is not perfect..
A couple should share all the ups and downs together be it is what kind of situation and what sort of thing..
isnt it????
Doubt doubt doubt..
relating about my own situation
i may complains about why you like this and why you like that but you also do complain why do i like that why do i like this...
then where is the compromise?
previously i compromise and what did i get.. now i dun compromised what did i get...
why do pple can just see thing from their own angle and not willing to widen their vision?
WHos fault is it and who is pushing all the fault? Maybe i got the fault maybe i got the problem but is it only i got the problem? and is it really all the problem lies in me only? we have being asking the same and arguing the same topic over n over again till the situation now is im forcing you to do things...
quite sad to hear that...
basically i think we had understand that maybe we are already on a shaky situation that no matter how we compromise to each and other yet we come see any outcome and even worst that it became an arguement topic...
i cant says that all my married fren doesnt have arguement but still i can see all the happiness and joy...
i have a fren which got married this year October.. I watch their relationship grows from fren blossom to lover and then married.. all their problem i also watch them go thru step by step even if the situation is vry bad... but still there is room for them to understand and compromised... their family, fren including myself actually dont have much hope to see their marriage life but they made it thru...
truely on their wedding day i feel content and reall happy for them..
On my side serious i cant see anything more further....
the very beginning i was looking forward about my marriage life.. whenever i talks about hows i want my wedding life to be like, i felt so endo and excited about it but now i just cant find back that feeling and more worst is that i got so fear over it...
i promised myself this shld be the very last and i wan to make it happen.. but i think i failed again...
my fear is more then excitment..
Thinking back then this shld really be the last im going to touch on and no more again if things doenst really turn out as expected.
Well... this year really a bucket full of wisdom that make me wake up and knowing am i on the right track.
Be it on family matter, working matter, friendship matter...
i really gotten all the ans in my heart....
On the Xmas Eve, tot i could be a smooth and slience night for me to keep my calmness and peacefulness but thing turn out to be bit of noisey...
staying at home but noisey mind...
ON the very Xmas day itself was a very different experiance xmas day..
Wedding day falls on Xmas :P
ONe of my secondary school buddy got married on that day.. was a very blessing and xtra white wedding lunch.. Turely wishing this newly wed with unlimited happiness down their marriage life..
on the other hand, got so envy over their wedding. seeing all the preparation video and specially made video for the newly wed.. the family member shot a surprise video for them.. seeing all this touching scene makes me more n more envy..
Envy that they had all the best blessing and wish from family and friends that what wedding is all about..
No doubt marriage is thing that between the couple itself but without any bless from frens and family and with out sharing the joy of your marriage is not perfect..
A couple should share all the ups and downs together be it is what kind of situation and what sort of thing..
isnt it????
Doubt doubt doubt..
relating about my own situation
i may complains about why you like this and why you like that but you also do complain why do i like that why do i like this...
then where is the compromise?
previously i compromise and what did i get.. now i dun compromised what did i get...
why do pple can just see thing from their own angle and not willing to widen their vision?
WHos fault is it and who is pushing all the fault? Maybe i got the fault maybe i got the problem but is it only i got the problem? and is it really all the problem lies in me only? we have being asking the same and arguing the same topic over n over again till the situation now is im forcing you to do things...
quite sad to hear that...
basically i think we had understand that maybe we are already on a shaky situation that no matter how we compromise to each and other yet we come see any outcome and even worst that it became an arguement topic...
i cant says that all my married fren doesnt have arguement but still i can see all the happiness and joy...
i have a fren which got married this year October.. I watch their relationship grows from fren blossom to lover and then married.. all their problem i also watch them go thru step by step even if the situation is vry bad... but still there is room for them to understand and compromised... their family, fren including myself actually dont have much hope to see their marriage life but they made it thru...
truely on their wedding day i feel content and reall happy for them..
On my side serious i cant see anything more further....
the very beginning i was looking forward about my marriage life.. whenever i talks about hows i want my wedding life to be like, i felt so endo and excited about it but now i just cant find back that feeling and more worst is that i got so fear over it...
i promised myself this shld be the very last and i wan to make it happen.. but i think i failed again...
my fear is more then excitment..
Thinking back then this shld really be the last im going to touch on and no more again if things doenst really turn out as expected.
Well... this year really a bucket full of wisdom that make me wake up and knowing am i on the right track.
Be it on family matter, working matter, friendship matter...
i really gotten all the ans in my heart....
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Lesson Learned....
Well there is chinese phrase that goes “祸从口出”something like "watch what you say".
True indeed..
2011 I discovered myself even deeply more than before.. I thought i understand myself and know myself more then anyone else, but I'm wrong..
All this years till now i had this bad characteristic.. which was my little speaker that grow on my face.
during this year self reflection on myself, finally i gets the answer to all my question.
My dangerous mouth..
Like i said life is about learning, from experiance, from people, from strangers, from loves one etc..
It took me 10 years since i was 18 year old back then to realise that I ogt a powerful mouth..
During this year i brought back all the bad memories, promises that i shout out, alots of problem actually lies on me..
i always believes that we have an angel and a devil that lives in out heart or maybe out mind that trying to control out daily life. and i guess i had let the devil over run my angel.
To whom should i listen to? the devil? or the angel?
During my meditation, I finally wants the angel to over run the devil but deep down my heart i saw a guy squating down with both hand hugging tightly to both of his legs with the head resting on to both knee cap in one pitch black corner..
i felt a cold wind that chill up my spine..
Im curious who is he and why he was there. I get more forcus into my meditation. Slowly i can see he is lifing up his head and to my surprise, i saw myself..
he said:
Please help me.. That time i felt very tired and I just want to rest awhile but in the end i ended up at the corner and i lost my way.. could you help me out here? i still have many unfulfil thing to do..
that when i realise that even an angel is also a devil who also wants to take over and be the commander..
In fact have you ever wonder why do we have second thot when comes to making decisions? the angel wants to be good and leads a simple life and the devil wants to be bad jus to lead a luxury life. but what kind of life you want for your own?
whenever i met a new frens or pple, the angel side of me helps me to gets attention from the others and after getting all the attention, the devil comes to play a part too.. the devil start to enjoy the luxury life and then leave the location without any notice.
Just being tired in the way that left ear angel comment and right ear devil comment.
i wanna be myself!!!
all the while since i was 18 year old the angel keep reminding me:
Michael, be a good boy.. show them your good.. this will leave good impression to the others.. you wont lose anything..
the angel already asking me to lie to others.. because im not that kind of pple..
then when im tired in acting so fake the the devil come..
Hey Micheal.. come on still not enough life is about enjoying not acting.. just dont boter too much..
and the devil start asking me to join in his clan where by doing bad thing were what he is best at.
some how i found out that actually both of them actually are a hand in hand things..
noticing that when ever you say something good out definately you are hoping for something back in return?
when we say something good out the angel in you are in action and commanding then when we are hoping for something in return the devil start planning the rest of the plot..
doesnt it indirectly link together? when things turn out to be what the angel and the devils wants, it doesnt leave any trace behind and it look perfectly well and nice which doesnt really hurts anyone or anythings. but when things doesnt turns out well, the devil will put more pressure and more nasty plot to get the whole pictuure drawn out which cause bad n hurting feeling to anyone or anything.
doesnt it look very disgusting and inhuman?
when i realise the innocent and pure guy sitting at that coner of my heart it was too late.. time doesnt turns back... and i have to face all the shit that the angel and devil left behind..
Now that im living with the lifestyle which is im not suppose to have..
.....................................................................................
It is never too late to realise but it is hard to regain back all that you have lost..
in this realistic world mankind turns out to be more and more impure and living each and everyday ploting here n there..
Suddenly realise it and felt very tired of it..
.....................................................................................
Recently family matters, when my mum got dianose with cancer which was the 4th stage. that realy gives me more impact in my life and makes me realised what i really want in my life and how to look closely what had happen to the people in the world had turn out to.
of cos there are still many personal issues that happen that makes me come to sense that even if your force to work things out it doesnt really helps but it can turn more serious problem to the core..
maybe that jus reality.. you have to bare the words that comes out from your mouth. :P
lesson really learn.. i cant really do anyting else but trying to maintain well my life..
now that my true self had return.. im glad and relief..
:P
True indeed..
2011 I discovered myself even deeply more than before.. I thought i understand myself and know myself more then anyone else, but I'm wrong..
All this years till now i had this bad characteristic.. which was my little speaker that grow on my face.
during this year self reflection on myself, finally i gets the answer to all my question.
My dangerous mouth..
Like i said life is about learning, from experiance, from people, from strangers, from loves one etc..
It took me 10 years since i was 18 year old back then to realise that I ogt a powerful mouth..
During this year i brought back all the bad memories, promises that i shout out, alots of problem actually lies on me..
i always believes that we have an angel and a devil that lives in out heart or maybe out mind that trying to control out daily life. and i guess i had let the devil over run my angel.
To whom should i listen to? the devil? or the angel?
During my meditation, I finally wants the angel to over run the devil but deep down my heart i saw a guy squating down with both hand hugging tightly to both of his legs with the head resting on to both knee cap in one pitch black corner..
i felt a cold wind that chill up my spine..
Im curious who is he and why he was there. I get more forcus into my meditation. Slowly i can see he is lifing up his head and to my surprise, i saw myself..
he said:
Please help me.. That time i felt very tired and I just want to rest awhile but in the end i ended up at the corner and i lost my way.. could you help me out here? i still have many unfulfil thing to do..
that when i realise that even an angel is also a devil who also wants to take over and be the commander..
In fact have you ever wonder why do we have second thot when comes to making decisions? the angel wants to be good and leads a simple life and the devil wants to be bad jus to lead a luxury life. but what kind of life you want for your own?
whenever i met a new frens or pple, the angel side of me helps me to gets attention from the others and after getting all the attention, the devil comes to play a part too.. the devil start to enjoy the luxury life and then leave the location without any notice.
Just being tired in the way that left ear angel comment and right ear devil comment.
i wanna be myself!!!
all the while since i was 18 year old the angel keep reminding me:
Michael, be a good boy.. show them your good.. this will leave good impression to the others.. you wont lose anything..
the angel already asking me to lie to others.. because im not that kind of pple..
then when im tired in acting so fake the the devil come..
Hey Micheal.. come on still not enough life is about enjoying not acting.. just dont boter too much..
and the devil start asking me to join in his clan where by doing bad thing were what he is best at.
some how i found out that actually both of them actually are a hand in hand things..
noticing that when ever you say something good out definately you are hoping for something back in return?
when we say something good out the angel in you are in action and commanding then when we are hoping for something in return the devil start planning the rest of the plot..
doesnt it indirectly link together? when things turn out to be what the angel and the devils wants, it doesnt leave any trace behind and it look perfectly well and nice which doesnt really hurts anyone or anythings. but when things doesnt turns out well, the devil will put more pressure and more nasty plot to get the whole pictuure drawn out which cause bad n hurting feeling to anyone or anything.
doesnt it look very disgusting and inhuman?
when i realise the innocent and pure guy sitting at that coner of my heart it was too late.. time doesnt turns back... and i have to face all the shit that the angel and devil left behind..
Now that im living with the lifestyle which is im not suppose to have..
.....................................................................................
It is never too late to realise but it is hard to regain back all that you have lost..
in this realistic world mankind turns out to be more and more impure and living each and everyday ploting here n there..
Suddenly realise it and felt very tired of it..
.....................................................................................
Recently family matters, when my mum got dianose with cancer which was the 4th stage. that realy gives me more impact in my life and makes me realised what i really want in my life and how to look closely what had happen to the people in the world had turn out to.
of cos there are still many personal issues that happen that makes me come to sense that even if your force to work things out it doesnt really helps but it can turn more serious problem to the core..
maybe that jus reality.. you have to bare the words that comes out from your mouth. :P
lesson really learn.. i cant really do anyting else but trying to maintain well my life..
now that my true self had return.. im glad and relief..
:P
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
2011 conclude...
It is easier to say then to be done...
Less then few weeks time and that will be the end of 2011... and soon i guess new resolution has to be made.
Even if today are to be 2012 but to me 2011 was onli just yesterday. time really passes us by not telling you that you left how much time to fulfill your own resolutions.
I can says that beginning of 2011 i had made a big changes in my life.
firstly my strong determination of quiting alcohol..
of cos this is quite a T-juntion for me to choose. very tuff.. maybe to other may feels that im no longer cool enough but to me as long as i can step out of the beer garden, im at a good start...
too many reason for me to swim myself out of the pool of alcohol.
1) im not a very good drinker but at least i still can pour in much into my liver till my liver got exhuasted. and also the after effect.. Realising that i had the problem of getting to work after each and every session of the swimming session in the alcohol but i still enjoying it.. never really think much about it jus keep swimming n swimming till getting drown in the pool...
Worst still i drag pple drowning togerther with me.. lolx..
still remembering those joy that the game lead us to and the amount of alcohol that we gurp down to our tummy and of cos those silly incident happens after different sessions...
2)thinking back on my finiance, it comes to a red light for me.. need to save up alot to settle much much more things...
3) health.... although now is on the emble light better to prevent then to charge at it..
.....................................................................................
The very harsh part was that i need to do thing which actually goes opposite the usual way.. for no reason i need to be cool and firm and also i guess i did said out things which actually i say out jus to keep a distance which i mean no harm..
as maybe i know that i dont do that i think i wont be able to step out..
maybe was an excuse but i really mean no harm...
To pple who i hurt you be words, im seriously very sorry about what i had said and what i had done. i really mean no harm or nv ever dun wan to be fren/buddy/bff anymore... you guys still living lively in my heart...
Due to some issues i really need to stop for a while....
i really dun wanna rely on you guys...
Wind and leaf story..
you should know who you are...
i realise i had a problem if i got certian issue i know that u might help me i am very grateful for what you had supported me all this while.. i will never forget the kindness that you offered me before and not saying repay your kindness.. your kindness even this life time i really cant fully repay you... next life time n next next life time i will up the hill down the frying wok...
I realise that i rely or maybe depend to much and im afraid it might turn out to be a bad habit.. that why i choosen a way which i cant really forgive myself...
i need to handle situation on my own already.. if not im jus digging my own grave and will nv learn and grow wisely...
But i will be back with the games....
.....................................................................................
2011...
a real turning point in my life.
its not about just the alcohol things..
started to get serious in work..
projects getting more since after april which is good.. at the same time road never being smooth too..
had to endure all the pressure as well..
from each and every encounted with my workers and clients, i learn tons of experiances.
from a soft hearted boss to a semi harsh boss.. from a undecisive boss to a firm decision maker boss..
but still there are many more room for me to grow and take all the experiances.
.....................................................................................
had been cutting down lots of my expenses ever since June this year. still i can see the fruit nor the leaf but the seed start sprouding out the roots. i strongly believe that if i keep on watering the seed and taking care well soon i will be able to see the stem then the leaf, flower then the fruits.. target 6 more month to go...
.....................................................................................
life is a nv ending learning stages even you are not in school..
my tuitor/teacher are my frens my love one..
you guys groom my life to success each and everyday.. your words, comments, lectures, scolding, your reaction on my behaviour. it makes me realise that when i made mistake and correct me to the right path.. from each and problems i heard from you all it also a learning lesson to me.
i really know what i want in my life now.. thank you my dear frens out there who had supported me and i will be back soon.....
please take good care of yourself.....
Cheers!! Happiness!! Health!! wealth!!
Less then few weeks time and that will be the end of 2011... and soon i guess new resolution has to be made.
Even if today are to be 2012 but to me 2011 was onli just yesterday. time really passes us by not telling you that you left how much time to fulfill your own resolutions.
I can says that beginning of 2011 i had made a big changes in my life.
firstly my strong determination of quiting alcohol..
of cos this is quite a T-juntion for me to choose. very tuff.. maybe to other may feels that im no longer cool enough but to me as long as i can step out of the beer garden, im at a good start...
too many reason for me to swim myself out of the pool of alcohol.
1) im not a very good drinker but at least i still can pour in much into my liver till my liver got exhuasted. and also the after effect.. Realising that i had the problem of getting to work after each and every session of the swimming session in the alcohol but i still enjoying it.. never really think much about it jus keep swimming n swimming till getting drown in the pool...
Worst still i drag pple drowning togerther with me.. lolx..
still remembering those joy that the game lead us to and the amount of alcohol that we gurp down to our tummy and of cos those silly incident happens after different sessions...
2)thinking back on my finiance, it comes to a red light for me.. need to save up alot to settle much much more things...
3) health.... although now is on the emble light better to prevent then to charge at it..
.....................................................................................
The very harsh part was that i need to do thing which actually goes opposite the usual way.. for no reason i need to be cool and firm and also i guess i did said out things which actually i say out jus to keep a distance which i mean no harm..
as maybe i know that i dont do that i think i wont be able to step out..
maybe was an excuse but i really mean no harm...
To pple who i hurt you be words, im seriously very sorry about what i had said and what i had done. i really mean no harm or nv ever dun wan to be fren/buddy/bff anymore... you guys still living lively in my heart...
Due to some issues i really need to stop for a while....
i really dun wanna rely on you guys...
Wind and leaf story..
you should know who you are...
i realise i had a problem if i got certian issue i know that u might help me i am very grateful for what you had supported me all this while.. i will never forget the kindness that you offered me before and not saying repay your kindness.. your kindness even this life time i really cant fully repay you... next life time n next next life time i will up the hill down the frying wok...
I realise that i rely or maybe depend to much and im afraid it might turn out to be a bad habit.. that why i choosen a way which i cant really forgive myself...
i need to handle situation on my own already.. if not im jus digging my own grave and will nv learn and grow wisely...
But i will be back with the games....
.....................................................................................
2011...
a real turning point in my life.
its not about just the alcohol things..
started to get serious in work..
projects getting more since after april which is good.. at the same time road never being smooth too..
had to endure all the pressure as well..
from each and every encounted with my workers and clients, i learn tons of experiances.
from a soft hearted boss to a semi harsh boss.. from a undecisive boss to a firm decision maker boss..
but still there are many more room for me to grow and take all the experiances.
.....................................................................................
had been cutting down lots of my expenses ever since June this year. still i can see the fruit nor the leaf but the seed start sprouding out the roots. i strongly believe that if i keep on watering the seed and taking care well soon i will be able to see the stem then the leaf, flower then the fruits.. target 6 more month to go...
.....................................................................................
life is a nv ending learning stages even you are not in school..
my tuitor/teacher are my frens my love one..
you guys groom my life to success each and everyday.. your words, comments, lectures, scolding, your reaction on my behaviour. it makes me realise that when i made mistake and correct me to the right path.. from each and problems i heard from you all it also a learning lesson to me.
i really know what i want in my life now.. thank you my dear frens out there who had supported me and i will be back soon.....
please take good care of yourself.....
Cheers!! Happiness!! Health!! wealth!!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Life is about growing and changing...
Time doesn't wait or stop for you just because you experiance bad situation or happy moment...
Frame and glory doesnt last long as there are better candidates out there...
For the past two weeks, i realised that i had changed in ways dramatically. Financially i control it very well then before ever since i hear a comment from one of my friend commenting about her friend
"at your age now you left 30 bucks in your saving and you are still so happy and now worries".
This sentence struck me very hard. People said save for the raining weather and did i do it. guess not. Thinking back all those year, the way i spent without thinking was so wrong. Ended up with own finance crisis but good thing was that there are many good buddies that lent me their helping hands.
I need to moved on and change the way i wnat it future but not i used to be..
Started healthy lifestyle since last two weeks.
Really alot of different when i put in the determination. While jogging i took the time and went into deep tot for myself, my future and my work.
Not the way it used to be as now i planned my work up front. and turns out to be so good and relaxing. I guess that should be the way.
Realised that in the past, im jus working for the seek of working. As long as there is no complains or problem im consider lucky for that day. but when complain or problem occurs i was like how how how. i blame this and that without thinking of the way of my working attitude was so damn wrong.
For example last week i battled off all problems and situation that last min occurs. and i won it beautifully and im so proud of it.
Its been a long time that i nv felt so proud and satisfied in work. the very last time was when im still in interior design trade.
i had made so much new year resolutions but did i really put in to action or just say it because its new year?
In year of 2011, I did it. although was very slow in pace, in 2011 Mid march, I did it. Many thanks to that person. Its because of the comment was really so straight forward and harsh.
I always being harsh to people and straight while advising them and now i got it back. KARMA :P
I guess was a good one as i started to learn.
I told myself that to start off jogging with short distance followed by increasing it weeks by weeks because need to build up all the stamina. during the 1st week i started off 1.2km. for this 1.2km journey i realise that i only able to explore so small amount of things around me. 2nd week i increased my distance to 2.1km. that was WOW... killing me but i explore more thing that i expected.
Same thing i realise in life. If you keep staying at this isolated small island which u know the environment so well, hunting food or finding shelter are just like u clicking ur finger, is this wat you really want?
SInce you know the island well and u know that there are material that can built strong shelter for stormy day why dont i build a small raft that can sail to the next bigger island to learn more surviving skills?
ONly when you explore u get to expose and learn other things. by stay comfortly in the world of your gets you nowhere.
It takes you courage and gut to sail out too.
people on the same island will start commenting on you saying you stupid, aiya sure die one lah, he's not going to make it etc or rumour that say confirm he did something bad, must be running away from some one etc.
but do pple think tiwce like why are you sailing out to explore?
during the process of sailing out you need to prepare things that you need and that takes time. Also is the time that comments and rumours starts.
DUring the process of preparation, of cos there are many ups and down or even failures.
THere might still kind souls in the island that will advise you and that makes your determination stronger.
Time to sail...
But HOW?
hmmm.. I'm stuck almost 3 month until sentence by sentence of golden wording passing thru my brain.
Finally i set sail.....
2 weeks later i met a storm in the open sea..
and im fighting with the storm now. soon i will see the rainbow and i will get the answer to solve or should say to settle it.
I will make sure i will reach the bigger island for me to build a boat not a raft to set sail again...
3 months time.....
Frame and glory doesnt last long as there are better candidates out there...
For the past two weeks, i realised that i had changed in ways dramatically. Financially i control it very well then before ever since i hear a comment from one of my friend commenting about her friend
"at your age now you left 30 bucks in your saving and you are still so happy and now worries".
This sentence struck me very hard. People said save for the raining weather and did i do it. guess not. Thinking back all those year, the way i spent without thinking was so wrong. Ended up with own finance crisis but good thing was that there are many good buddies that lent me their helping hands.
I need to moved on and change the way i wnat it future but not i used to be..
Started healthy lifestyle since last two weeks.
Really alot of different when i put in the determination. While jogging i took the time and went into deep tot for myself, my future and my work.
Not the way it used to be as now i planned my work up front. and turns out to be so good and relaxing. I guess that should be the way.
Realised that in the past, im jus working for the seek of working. As long as there is no complains or problem im consider lucky for that day. but when complain or problem occurs i was like how how how. i blame this and that without thinking of the way of my working attitude was so damn wrong.
For example last week i battled off all problems and situation that last min occurs. and i won it beautifully and im so proud of it.
Its been a long time that i nv felt so proud and satisfied in work. the very last time was when im still in interior design trade.
i had made so much new year resolutions but did i really put in to action or just say it because its new year?
In year of 2011, I did it. although was very slow in pace, in 2011 Mid march, I did it. Many thanks to that person. Its because of the comment was really so straight forward and harsh.
I always being harsh to people and straight while advising them and now i got it back. KARMA :P
I guess was a good one as i started to learn.
I told myself that to start off jogging with short distance followed by increasing it weeks by weeks because need to build up all the stamina. during the 1st week i started off 1.2km. for this 1.2km journey i realise that i only able to explore so small amount of things around me. 2nd week i increased my distance to 2.1km. that was WOW... killing me but i explore more thing that i expected.
Same thing i realise in life. If you keep staying at this isolated small island which u know the environment so well, hunting food or finding shelter are just like u clicking ur finger, is this wat you really want?
SInce you know the island well and u know that there are material that can built strong shelter for stormy day why dont i build a small raft that can sail to the next bigger island to learn more surviving skills?
ONly when you explore u get to expose and learn other things. by stay comfortly in the world of your gets you nowhere.
It takes you courage and gut to sail out too.
people on the same island will start commenting on you saying you stupid, aiya sure die one lah, he's not going to make it etc or rumour that say confirm he did something bad, must be running away from some one etc.
but do pple think tiwce like why are you sailing out to explore?
during the process of sailing out you need to prepare things that you need and that takes time. Also is the time that comments and rumours starts.
DUring the process of preparation, of cos there are many ups and down or even failures.
THere might still kind souls in the island that will advise you and that makes your determination stronger.
Time to sail...
But HOW?
hmmm.. I'm stuck almost 3 month until sentence by sentence of golden wording passing thru my brain.
Finally i set sail.....
2 weeks later i met a storm in the open sea..
and im fighting with the storm now. soon i will see the rainbow and i will get the answer to solve or should say to settle it.
I will make sure i will reach the bigger island for me to build a boat not a raft to set sail again...
3 months time.....
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Day busy night busy... I need a break....
1stly the high temp. in the atmosphere then came the haze....
Damn irritating..
Humid weather, dry and bit sore in the eye how to work outdoor?
Breathing also abit problem yesterday...
Today consider better as the temp finally drops abit.. Thanks to the rain in the very early morning.
but no very good to my van hahha... so damn dusty after the rain...
Every things that happens always has its reason behind it.
example for the past few day of isomina, its because my boss looking for me... wahaha... this week a busy night week to temple... monday night tue off then follow by till sun... going crazy.. haha next day stilll got o work.. how to take it..
but no choice onli can complain but cannot action.
Today saw a fren posted in FB "There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction . . ."
WoW.. haha.. I wrote such a long story previously and yet she did it with two sentences.. haha..
ya the higher u wan to reach you need to abandon some thing..
ten pple in the hot air balloon can reach a certian limits of height but 5 pple in the same hot air balloon it can go much more higher... but wat if 1 pple i nthe same hot air balloon? of cause it will be at the highest point..
but when u reach the highest point then you realised that there is only you left in the basket... that where loneliness come knocking on your door...
Need to balance up my life..... but some how balancing up life also can get into misundertandeing by pple.. haha need to come out with a package that can link up all :P
Damn irritating..
Humid weather, dry and bit sore in the eye how to work outdoor?
Breathing also abit problem yesterday...
Today consider better as the temp finally drops abit.. Thanks to the rain in the very early morning.
but no very good to my van hahha... so damn dusty after the rain...
Every things that happens always has its reason behind it.
example for the past few day of isomina, its because my boss looking for me... wahaha... this week a busy night week to temple... monday night tue off then follow by till sun... going crazy.. haha next day stilll got o work.. how to take it..
but no choice onli can complain but cannot action.
Today saw a fren posted in FB "There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction . . ."
WoW.. haha.. I wrote such a long story previously and yet she did it with two sentences.. haha..
ya the higher u wan to reach you need to abandon some thing..
ten pple in the hot air balloon can reach a certian limits of height but 5 pple in the same hot air balloon it can go much more higher... but wat if 1 pple i nthe same hot air balloon? of cause it will be at the highest point..
but when u reach the highest point then you realised that there is only you left in the basket... that where loneliness come knocking on your door...
Need to balance up my life..... but some how balancing up life also can get into misundertandeing by pple.. haha need to come out with a package that can link up all :P
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Terigible Horigible weather!!!!
35 degree celsius!!!
Since Last friday not just only humid and also so burning hot hot sun!!
Got ISOMINA on friday night due to the weather... so damn boring as i got a pair of swollen eyes just yeasterday...
YEsterday weather also not really that cool... And of cos not enough slp, temper and mood also not in the right condition... woke up by phone call to pick up laminated flooring sample for customer... Saturday.. the road condition also not really that good.. it was just like i won TOTO lottery 3+1 that kind...
ISOMINA, HOt weather, foul mood + bad road condition...
Journey from bedok to jurong usually took me about 20 min plus minus there... Gosh yesterday too mi about 45 min due to some jam... OF cause is not about the jam.. but is that kind of weather is like im the pork rib in the oven...
MOre worst is that on the way back to meet my partner, the jam more worst.. imagine 12+ middle of the day, not cloudy and the sun stands alone up in the sky trying to its BBQ sessions....
Another factor.. LOL.. a hungry man is a angry man...
I need food food...
Ya, reach the meeting point and without considering whether are we late so the appointment with customer, i jus order my food...
The meeting went on smooth, needed to get a little more sample for the owner to browse thru. Cant wait for this deal to be closed...
After appointment went out sourcing for material and sample..
Wanted to go home after that but being psycho but buddies to dinner and movie...
so damn shack!!!
true also that its being a while i step into cinema and dine out with friends...
THen just tagged along to join in the fun.. anyway my life not really that happening maybe from this start i might have more eye opening world?? LOL...
TOday ya got to settle lots of thing... Invoices, next week schedule as aunty goes on holidays... and paper works... evening time still got to fetch ah ne and pay them money...
but for now i need to grab my late breakfast... so damn hungry...
Since Last friday not just only humid and also so burning hot hot sun!!
Got ISOMINA on friday night due to the weather... so damn boring as i got a pair of swollen eyes just yeasterday...
YEsterday weather also not really that cool... And of cos not enough slp, temper and mood also not in the right condition... woke up by phone call to pick up laminated flooring sample for customer... Saturday.. the road condition also not really that good.. it was just like i won TOTO lottery 3+1 that kind...
ISOMINA, HOt weather, foul mood + bad road condition...
Journey from bedok to jurong usually took me about 20 min plus minus there... Gosh yesterday too mi about 45 min due to some jam... OF cause is not about the jam.. but is that kind of weather is like im the pork rib in the oven...
MOre worst is that on the way back to meet my partner, the jam more worst.. imagine 12+ middle of the day, not cloudy and the sun stands alone up in the sky trying to its BBQ sessions....
Another factor.. LOL.. a hungry man is a angry man...
I need food food...
Ya, reach the meeting point and without considering whether are we late so the appointment with customer, i jus order my food...
The meeting went on smooth, needed to get a little more sample for the owner to browse thru. Cant wait for this deal to be closed...
After appointment went out sourcing for material and sample..
Wanted to go home after that but being psycho but buddies to dinner and movie...
so damn shack!!!
true also that its being a while i step into cinema and dine out with friends...
THen just tagged along to join in the fun.. anyway my life not really that happening maybe from this start i might have more eye opening world?? LOL...
TOday ya got to settle lots of thing... Invoices, next week schedule as aunty goes on holidays... and paper works... evening time still got to fetch ah ne and pay them money...
but for now i need to grab my late breakfast... so damn hungry...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Upcoming Projects
Once a year birthday seems to be like a week rather then a day...
Still cant realy concentrade on work as the mood still not back yet haha.. Only can have this kind of mood till this cooing sunday as next week onwards got to start catch up with all the necessary work.
Doing some moonlighting for extra cash.. hahah.. Starting Nov, there will be a renovation job going on as well as in Dec.. Going to run the job site and oversee all the work done properly... although now had a fix salary but still cannot afford to make any mistakes to lost money for this upcoming projects:P
Extra cash for many issues :P think of it also shiok :P
Time for me i guess also very shiok as need to run reno jobsite as well as my cleaning company works :P For now i think wont try to do anymore sale..
Next week planning to run round my cleaning company jobsite doing some PR haha.. Dont do sale but still can do some PR... also can check on my aunty works is it well done or not:P another words for that mean SPOT CHECK!!!!
Hmmm...
Guess one more year time i can really clear all the load on my shoulder which i carried it for so long... really cant imagine that kind of relax mood till then...
Work hard towards that day.... CHEER!!!!
Still cant realy concentrade on work as the mood still not back yet haha.. Only can have this kind of mood till this cooing sunday as next week onwards got to start catch up with all the necessary work.
Doing some moonlighting for extra cash.. hahah.. Starting Nov, there will be a renovation job going on as well as in Dec.. Going to run the job site and oversee all the work done properly... although now had a fix salary but still cannot afford to make any mistakes to lost money for this upcoming projects:P
Extra cash for many issues :P think of it also shiok :P
Time for me i guess also very shiok as need to run reno jobsite as well as my cleaning company works :P For now i think wont try to do anymore sale..
Next week planning to run round my cleaning company jobsite doing some PR haha.. Dont do sale but still can do some PR... also can check on my aunty works is it well done or not:P another words for that mean SPOT CHECK!!!!
Hmmm...
Guess one more year time i can really clear all the load on my shoulder which i carried it for so long... really cant imagine that kind of relax mood till then...
Work hard towards that day.... CHEER!!!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
New beginning in twenty seventh years
Last updated was beginning of 2010...
Newly set for another round start will be today..
Made myself a promised before my 27 big day arrival.. To get drunk and to enjoy to the fullest during the night party as im going to cut down the frequent of drinking as well as smoking...
Dunno why suddenly had that kind of feeling that alcoholic just cant go smooth into my body and the taste suddenly changed..
hmm.. hard to explain why but maybe as i said before many post ago, environment changes personalities... In life we do will meet many cross junction that we need to choose. Standing right in the middle of front and back, left or right. how would you choose?
Front= new perspective of life that leads you to another level of your life?
Left= a brand new beginning of life that you are unsure of but adventurous?
right= daily rountine life with not much adventurous?
back= very enjoyable life with less work and no achievement?
For now and finally i would choose front.
i had chosen the last three choices before and i think its enough..
The very 1st choice i chosen was during my interior life and i chose right...
i'm stuck in a small interior design firm, i worked from morning till midnigght, rushing all drawing and facing all sort of house owners. At first there were lots of achievement and happiness during the 4 year life but then slowly, i found out that i had a very unhealthy lifestyle as in working too long hours.
Thats where oppunitiy comes and i chose left. The second cross junction.
I started off doing business with my friend. a new life and business that was totally out of wat i had done previously. i took my risk and join the adventure.
Of cause everthing was going towards what we expected but things went off track abit and i chose to leave the company.
Here come the third cross junction of my life and i chose back.
i went back to interior again but this time round on my own and with one other friend. business wasnt that good but i still out there enjoying and partying.. never even tot of the daily expenses issues. but when comes to like expenses turning high,
i changed to start the cleaning business again. although this time round busiiness doing good, but still im not interested to strive for it. im still swimming in the pool of alcohol.. drink then drank then drunk... totally not in the mood of bringing the company up to another lvl.. whenever drinking session start, " oh today i closed news sale i have to celebrate" and these were the reason for me to covered up that im just cant stop partying life...
see during this choice i had made.. im just running round n round but gets to nowhere.
Finally this year 2010, during my days in my reservist. i went into deep tot.. of cause during my reservist time all of my job site when hiwire that why i went into deep tot.
is it time for me to really damn wake up my bloody idea as i know myself so well that even a slight temptation i can lost focus and goes off track..
Therefore i tried all those thing that i haven got the chance to try till my birthday that had just past.
during the days after my reservist till my birthday, dun really know it is mentality or what so ever, suddenly those alcohol taste so bitter and wasnt like it used to be.
Finally i came to a conclusion. its not the mentality or the taste of the alcohol. I realised i finally awaken...
That why i chosen front at this point of the cross junction. I know that i cannot resist the temptation then i need to cut down.
I came across this quote in fb “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu, posted from one of my friend. Wow.. really gives me an impact..
Just a short sentance yet so meaningful.
i gave myself a quote "if i cannot resist it, i had turn away. only that i can change.." LOL can make it right this sentence LOL...
I even tot to quit smoking hahha.. so far im doing well in controling lighting up a smoke.. Only when disaster call then i hide in that room and light one.. i guessed it's habits.. One step at a time... might be difficult but Out of difficulties there is miracle.. i learned it thru a hk drama series :P
Yes this time round my perspective point of view changed again. i had so many thing to fulfill. in a very short period of time i need to hit my expected income. time running out soon. Soon im going to carry up my dad burden. im taking over the responsibilities of the support pillar of the household from my dad. i got no time to fool around anymore.. one year time? or the lastest two years time...
i'm starting to understand some of my fren/buddies out there are the support pillar of the household. need to salute them..
haha of cos sometime i need to also destress ok.. ops! is it an excuse for me to swim in the pool of alcohol again? LOL of cause not.. few glasses that can reach the lvl of my throat that enough.
Oh ya also targeting to have a routine sport to keep myself fit and healthy.. so sad on my birthday, i met one of my secondery school fren during my dinner time, she commented on me " you becoming more n more thin" oh gosh... really hit me... somemore after my birthday i saw those topless photo of myself.. Haix....
NEED TO KEEP FIT N STRONG.. GAIN MEAT :P LOL
Newly set for another round start will be today..
Made myself a promised before my 27 big day arrival.. To get drunk and to enjoy to the fullest during the night party as im going to cut down the frequent of drinking as well as smoking...
Dunno why suddenly had that kind of feeling that alcoholic just cant go smooth into my body and the taste suddenly changed..
hmm.. hard to explain why but maybe as i said before many post ago, environment changes personalities... In life we do will meet many cross junction that we need to choose. Standing right in the middle of front and back, left or right. how would you choose?
Front= new perspective of life that leads you to another level of your life?
Left= a brand new beginning of life that you are unsure of but adventurous?
right= daily rountine life with not much adventurous?
back= very enjoyable life with less work and no achievement?
For now and finally i would choose front.
i had chosen the last three choices before and i think its enough..
The very 1st choice i chosen was during my interior life and i chose right...
i'm stuck in a small interior design firm, i worked from morning till midnigght, rushing all drawing and facing all sort of house owners. At first there were lots of achievement and happiness during the 4 year life but then slowly, i found out that i had a very unhealthy lifestyle as in working too long hours.
Thats where oppunitiy comes and i chose left. The second cross junction.
I started off doing business with my friend. a new life and business that was totally out of wat i had done previously. i took my risk and join the adventure.
Of cause everthing was going towards what we expected but things went off track abit and i chose to leave the company.
Here come the third cross junction of my life and i chose back.
i went back to interior again but this time round on my own and with one other friend. business wasnt that good but i still out there enjoying and partying.. never even tot of the daily expenses issues. but when comes to like expenses turning high,
i changed to start the cleaning business again. although this time round busiiness doing good, but still im not interested to strive for it. im still swimming in the pool of alcohol.. drink then drank then drunk... totally not in the mood of bringing the company up to another lvl.. whenever drinking session start, " oh today i closed news sale i have to celebrate" and these were the reason for me to covered up that im just cant stop partying life...
see during this choice i had made.. im just running round n round but gets to nowhere.
Finally this year 2010, during my days in my reservist. i went into deep tot.. of cause during my reservist time all of my job site when hiwire that why i went into deep tot.
is it time for me to really damn wake up my bloody idea as i know myself so well that even a slight temptation i can lost focus and goes off track..
Therefore i tried all those thing that i haven got the chance to try till my birthday that had just past.
during the days after my reservist till my birthday, dun really know it is mentality or what so ever, suddenly those alcohol taste so bitter and wasnt like it used to be.
Finally i came to a conclusion. its not the mentality or the taste of the alcohol. I realised i finally awaken...
That why i chosen front at this point of the cross junction. I know that i cannot resist the temptation then i need to cut down.
I came across this quote in fb “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu, posted from one of my friend. Wow.. really gives me an impact..
Just a short sentance yet so meaningful.
i gave myself a quote "if i cannot resist it, i had turn away. only that i can change.." LOL can make it right this sentence LOL...
I even tot to quit smoking hahha.. so far im doing well in controling lighting up a smoke.. Only when disaster call then i hide in that room and light one.. i guessed it's habits.. One step at a time... might be difficult but Out of difficulties there is miracle.. i learned it thru a hk drama series :P
Yes this time round my perspective point of view changed again. i had so many thing to fulfill. in a very short period of time i need to hit my expected income. time running out soon. Soon im going to carry up my dad burden. im taking over the responsibilities of the support pillar of the household from my dad. i got no time to fool around anymore.. one year time? or the lastest two years time...
i'm starting to understand some of my fren/buddies out there are the support pillar of the household. need to salute them..
haha of cos sometime i need to also destress ok.. ops! is it an excuse for me to swim in the pool of alcohol again? LOL of cause not.. few glasses that can reach the lvl of my throat that enough.
Oh ya also targeting to have a routine sport to keep myself fit and healthy.. so sad on my birthday, i met one of my secondery school fren during my dinner time, she commented on me " you becoming more n more thin" oh gosh... really hit me... somemore after my birthday i saw those topless photo of myself.. Haix....
NEED TO KEEP FIT N STRONG.. GAIN MEAT :P LOL
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Life??
2010 started...
past almost 3 months... not so good but not too bad as well...
Today haapens to come across an so call geography clips something like tat saying earth, atmosphere, surrounding and weather are changing from good to bad.. saw those pple so helpless crying out for help and crying out for their loves one...
suddenly felt so emo... human are so fragile but not earth... it took million years for earth to recover from it bad statues and took earth million years to become good again..
But human??? things jus happens in splits sec and it changes human life forever...
things really changed when we grow... we are not like dvd player where we can pause when we got not enough time, fast forward when we think times are bad nor we can rewind when we are wrong... we are jus like a dvd player that onli had an play button..
of cos the other button to compliment us is the record button.
we play and record our life. no delete buttom like ur key board, format like ur recovery disc for computer nor recycle bin on ur desktop...
Then how do we keep our self so strong and steady to keep our life prolong??
"alwasy look on the bring side of life" is this sentence???
runing away from fact?
act blur?
or tml thing tml then say???
which one are you in? or none above?? can you really think of which are u in if u are none above???
a good man will not stays in ur heart for century... but a sinful useless corrupted bad man will lives in ur heart till you gone...
how to get rid of it??
today i really realise something about my life... for all the while i had being living for others... but not for myself... but no choice too anyway :P
each of us has our own life and aspect. our goal different, family issues.. we changed..
how well you can mantained? from closeness to distance.. and from distance to stranger..
every stages of our life we met pple that bring joy to us, furtune to us, knowledge to us, but do we really rem them that much???
can u still rem ur 1st pimary sch form teachers name???
i guess i still rem.. miss ang... wear spec.. very short and plumb plumb one...
who was the teacher that u hated most when u in primary sch??
i dun quite rem...
but wat if i same qns but diff grade sch... do u still rem the 1st form teacher or urs in sec sch? i think a bit blur...
and who was the teacher u hete the most in sec sch?? i think no other then Mr Sing...
see that wat human are.... when u young u tend not to or dun wan to think of those bad pple that ill treated you. but as and when we grew up, we start to be more precausious and take a step back to those bad pple who tried to harm us.
this is because we are scare to being hurt again..
when this takes place, u tend to rem those u hated the most....
been trying to let go of something but yet automatically he will hunt u dwon before u can hunt him...
weakness come from or heart and mind....
past almost 3 months... not so good but not too bad as well...
Today haapens to come across an so call geography clips something like tat saying earth, atmosphere, surrounding and weather are changing from good to bad.. saw those pple so helpless crying out for help and crying out for their loves one...
suddenly felt so emo... human are so fragile but not earth... it took million years for earth to recover from it bad statues and took earth million years to become good again..
But human??? things jus happens in splits sec and it changes human life forever...
things really changed when we grow... we are not like dvd player where we can pause when we got not enough time, fast forward when we think times are bad nor we can rewind when we are wrong... we are jus like a dvd player that onli had an play button..
of cos the other button to compliment us is the record button.
we play and record our life. no delete buttom like ur key board, format like ur recovery disc for computer nor recycle bin on ur desktop...
Then how do we keep our self so strong and steady to keep our life prolong??
"alwasy look on the bring side of life" is this sentence???
runing away from fact?
act blur?
or tml thing tml then say???
which one are you in? or none above?? can you really think of which are u in if u are none above???
a good man will not stays in ur heart for century... but a sinful useless corrupted bad man will lives in ur heart till you gone...
how to get rid of it??
today i really realise something about my life... for all the while i had being living for others... but not for myself... but no choice too anyway :P
each of us has our own life and aspect. our goal different, family issues.. we changed..
how well you can mantained? from closeness to distance.. and from distance to stranger..
every stages of our life we met pple that bring joy to us, furtune to us, knowledge to us, but do we really rem them that much???
can u still rem ur 1st pimary sch form teachers name???
i guess i still rem.. miss ang... wear spec.. very short and plumb plumb one...
who was the teacher that u hated most when u in primary sch??
i dun quite rem...
but wat if i same qns but diff grade sch... do u still rem the 1st form teacher or urs in sec sch? i think a bit blur...
and who was the teacher u hete the most in sec sch?? i think no other then Mr Sing...
see that wat human are.... when u young u tend not to or dun wan to think of those bad pple that ill treated you. but as and when we grew up, we start to be more precausious and take a step back to those bad pple who tried to harm us.
this is because we are scare to being hurt again..
when this takes place, u tend to rem those u hated the most....
been trying to let go of something but yet automatically he will hunt u dwon before u can hunt him...
weakness come from or heart and mind....
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
What a "good" start off in 2010....
New year new hopes...
Where is the hope when you see no medicine can cure???
2nd week of 2010.. things turned out to be sour...
Shld i ask being a 'medium' a gd things or a bad things? Can i choose not to be or to be?
is it everytime when i put on the superman uniform and im so powerful?
being easily posesses by 'thing' is it the life that i wan or can i choosed?
2010 1st consider big case happened on my family....
being sensitive ? i dun think i am.. think too much or imagine too much?? i dun think so...
ever since it came in, life in whole family changes very much.. especially on me... being able to see addition things in life made me more careful on my mouth... thing that can say i will say too much of thing i better not say so that not to invite fear to the others...
a bit more or mystery story...
old pple always said that babis are more prompt to can see additional things too and more sensitive to this thing.
didnt they notice themself that baby in the house acting strangely ever since that day it stand in? i felt so much pressure already... night time either watching tv or play computer vision keep flashing in and out here n there. didnt you know u brought thing in? yes of cos you dun kmnow...
Enjoy the life in this family yet disturbing others in the other way round...
Last friday things happen so quick that i dunnno how to act too...
anothe incident that all temple pple rush to my house again..
this time round not the god in my body but the other thing in my body seraching for pple....
i knew it sooner or later it will come find me as my body is just like a communication tool between god and ghost... do u believe?? for those maybe are the same as me they will know and believve...
so due to this case... big bro small bro fight.. dad threaten to jump down mum burst out in tears... and when these things happened, where am i?
i think im too exhuasted and half my soul still wondering about...
what if dad really jump or stroke happens again? am i the one to be blame or they are the one to be blame?
now this family i dun think it is a family any more...
because of a girl family going 4 seperate 5 crack? worth it? internal affair i think bo bian lah but now is external affair plus some more is there a right for u to say anything when u are not belong here?
everyone knows that u had temper dun you think others also have? being quiet and let u win doesnt mean u are more fierce.. is i gave face to two elder;ly at home n not to speak out as dad wish is family together million matter heart. do i need to get them upset due to ur stupidity? i dun think so.
wat for talk or fight with pple who use more eq then iq?
hai.... dunno wat to do liao.
"how come last time nothing happen when im over at other pple house and coem to u place like tat??
stupid question.
answer really not that obvious??
im a medium who is sensitive too this kind of activity stupid... watever u wan to say lah im over reacting, i think too much, i imagine too much..
PLs lah u think i wan ah u think i so free to put on act and make show and make myself so much like a fool ah. u think i dun wan my freedom life back like last time ah wan to drink happile like no pple business. u think i dun wan my that life back ah...
Use ur brain think before u said... Yes im damn into temple life and im walk fire into demon liao. is that wat you think.. u ever encounter wat in ur life with ur naked eye and u saw before. is that wat u imagine? think think think..
dun side till like tat...
do things pls stand in between and think the important..
7 innocent pple might get caught in action due to ur own act.
life life life..
decision for mi is so damn tough to make..
lets move ahead few more weeks and see what will happens.
the dog mouth mask on my face soon will be release and that is when the cracks comes in....
all the best leow's family....
Where is the hope when you see no medicine can cure???
2nd week of 2010.. things turned out to be sour...
Shld i ask being a 'medium' a gd things or a bad things? Can i choose not to be or to be?
is it everytime when i put on the superman uniform and im so powerful?
being easily posesses by 'thing' is it the life that i wan or can i choosed?
2010 1st consider big case happened on my family....
being sensitive ? i dun think i am.. think too much or imagine too much?? i dun think so...
ever since it came in, life in whole family changes very much.. especially on me... being able to see addition things in life made me more careful on my mouth... thing that can say i will say too much of thing i better not say so that not to invite fear to the others...
a bit more or mystery story...
old pple always said that babis are more prompt to can see additional things too and more sensitive to this thing.
didnt they notice themself that baby in the house acting strangely ever since that day it stand in? i felt so much pressure already... night time either watching tv or play computer vision keep flashing in and out here n there. didnt you know u brought thing in? yes of cos you dun kmnow...
Enjoy the life in this family yet disturbing others in the other way round...
Last friday things happen so quick that i dunnno how to act too...
anothe incident that all temple pple rush to my house again..
this time round not the god in my body but the other thing in my body seraching for pple....
i knew it sooner or later it will come find me as my body is just like a communication tool between god and ghost... do u believe?? for those maybe are the same as me they will know and believve...
so due to this case... big bro small bro fight.. dad threaten to jump down mum burst out in tears... and when these things happened, where am i?
i think im too exhuasted and half my soul still wondering about...
what if dad really jump or stroke happens again? am i the one to be blame or they are the one to be blame?
now this family i dun think it is a family any more...
because of a girl family going 4 seperate 5 crack? worth it? internal affair i think bo bian lah but now is external affair plus some more is there a right for u to say anything when u are not belong here?
everyone knows that u had temper dun you think others also have? being quiet and let u win doesnt mean u are more fierce.. is i gave face to two elder;ly at home n not to speak out as dad wish is family together million matter heart. do i need to get them upset due to ur stupidity? i dun think so.
wat for talk or fight with pple who use more eq then iq?
hai.... dunno wat to do liao.
"how come last time nothing happen when im over at other pple house and coem to u place like tat??
stupid question.
answer really not that obvious??
im a medium who is sensitive too this kind of activity stupid... watever u wan to say lah im over reacting, i think too much, i imagine too much..
PLs lah u think i wan ah u think i so free to put on act and make show and make myself so much like a fool ah. u think i dun wan my freedom life back like last time ah wan to drink happile like no pple business. u think i dun wan my that life back ah...
Use ur brain think before u said... Yes im damn into temple life and im walk fire into demon liao. is that wat you think.. u ever encounter wat in ur life with ur naked eye and u saw before. is that wat u imagine? think think think..
dun side till like tat...
do things pls stand in between and think the important..
7 innocent pple might get caught in action due to ur own act.
life life life..
decision for mi is so damn tough to make..
lets move ahead few more weeks and see what will happens.
the dog mouth mask on my face soon will be release and that is when the cracks comes in....
all the best leow's family....
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